23 Epic Dad Jokes Your Adult Kids Will Love to Hate

Written By Nicholas McGill

They say laughter is the best medicine. Research from Dr. Lee S. Berk and Dr. Stanley Tan started researching the health benefits of laughter, starting way back in the 80’s. They found that Laughter:

  • Reduces stress almost immediately
  • Raises good chloresterol
  • Activates the body’s protective cells

Laughter and humor are serious business for healthy families. It helps us cope with difficult situations and build stronger bonds. Also, according to Dr. Allan Reiss who directs the Center for Interdisciplinary Brain Science at Stanford University, “Humor is a very important component of emotional health, maintaining relationships, developing cognitive function and perhaps even medical health.

So consider this a license to Dad Joke. Here are a few to help you get started with your kids no matter their age.

#1. Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house?

Of course. Houses can’t jump.


#2. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?

A Carrot


#3. Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.


#4. I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that’s just nuts.


#5. Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating?

Because they have no body to go with.


#6. What did the grape do when he got stepped on?

He let out a little wine.


#7. Why did the coffee file a police report?

It got mugged.


#8. Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer?

He couldn’t see himself doing it.


#9. My wife told me to stop acting like a flamingo.

So I had to put my foot down.


#10. What’s the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth hurt-y!


#11. How did Darth Vader know what Luke got him for Christmas?

He felt his presents.


#12. What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well-dressed man on a bicycle?



#13. What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta.


#14. I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.


#15. Why can’t you can’t trust atoms?

They make up everything.


#16. Most people are shocked when they find out how bad an electrician I am.

#17. Why was the horse so happy?

Because he lived in a stable environment.


#18. What was Forrest Gump’s email password?



#19. I tried to catch some fog.

But I mist


#20. How do trees access the internet?

They log in.


#21. What’s the king of all school supplies?

The ruler.


#22. What do you call the boss at Old McDonald’s Farm?



#23. Why did the belt get arrested?

He held up a pair of pants.


There you have it. Enjoy the laughs, and guilty pleasure feelings of enjoying such silly jokes. Share these with your friends and spread some cheer.

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